Confessions: Part I

Ladies and gentlemen, I have a confession to make.  I have no vision for my wedding.

I didn't have one pre-engagement or even post-engagement.  I simply assumed that after knowing who I would be marrying and having some time to think about it, it would be quite easy to figure out.  Boy was I wrong!

Douglas is simply calling it the wedding equivalent to writer's block and man is it frustrating.  Now, to put things into perspective:

1. We've only gone venue hunting once so far.  The rest has been online and we're going on outing number 2 next weekend.
2. The only things I seem to be able to find as potential sources of inspiration have been tv shows that are not aimed at me (spending big $ and looking to have a traditional wedding) and blogs that are a mixed bag of traditional and off-beat.  None of them have given me the slightest hint of an idea.
3. We've been engaged and wedding planning for just over 6 months now.  I know people who have planned their entire wedding in less time than that!  
4. We still have over a year to go so while there is a rush to get the big things nailed down, we're not quite under the gun.

Since I don't have a clear view (or any view for that matter) of how I envision the wedding and Douglas seems to be able to throw out ideas for anything and enjoy it, we've been checking out all different types of venues: indoor, outdoor, homesteads, catering halls, hotels, museums, etc.  Nothing has really struck me as "yes, I want it to be in a place like this".  I've liked the idea of a few places and we'll go to check them out and see if I end up actually liking them.  Even if that happens, I truly do not expect to have a wedding epiphany over it.

Which brings me to another confession: I didn't believe in those epiphany moments.  I never felt that you had to cry when you found your gown, but if you were caught up in the moment, that's great.  I didn't think I'd get all bubbly and excited when I found the ring, but to my surprise, I did!  So while I now believe in the epiphany moments, I still do not believe that every major aspect of the wedding has to involve one.  I'm quite certain, at this point, that when we choose a venue, it's not going to be anything magical.  It'll just be what made sense.  Will we enjoy the festivities in the venue?  Yes!  Will the venue really matter in the long run, hopefully not.  It's still a big corner stone in the wedding process, though.  The venue seems to be what can set the tone for the style and theme of the party.

While part of me wishes I had been one of those girls who had her wedding binder ready to go at the pop of the question, it just wouldn't have been me.  I might as well throw in the tiara and pink bows and be done with it.  As frustrating as all of this is right now, I am grateful that it is a process and it involves two people deciding where they want to mark the joining of themselves and their families.  Thus, I march blindly on. 

By the way, I could still use a large crane or jack hammer, though, to bust through this block.  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?