A Foot-Long Engagement

As frustrating as it's been, and as often as we've seriously considered eloping, I really cannot express how grateful I am for having a long engagement. The first few months, when we were throwing out ideas and seeing what would stick, were especially hectic because this was the time everyone, include myself, were dealing with our own ideas of what the wedding was going to be and trying to get a handle on what it would become. This time let everyone get out their frustrations without the frustrations or stress influencing any decisions that were being made. Lots of conversations occurred, whether over the phone, through email, through texts, or while on a night walk with the dog. Ideas were kicked around, ideas were tested out, minds were changed over and over. Was it taxing? Yes. Was it ridiculously stressful? Yes. Did it make us not want to have a wedding? Some times. Was it worth it? Totally!

Now jump from being five months in to being five months out.

Since most of the dust has settled and most decisions have been made (some deposits put down), things are going really smoothly. We're still having typical wedding issues. guests not seeing the wedding website address that was printed on the CD cover for the Save the Dates AND was on the invitations and mixed messages going out about plus 1s, but now that we're into the thick of planning, if someone is caught off guard by an idea, they usually take a few minutes to get their heads around it and then we're off to the races with productive talk - did you ask your vendor this? Who's in control of that? If you do this, remember to be mindful of that.

Another positive about the long engagement is that it has allowed us to have a few family weekends to get together in Roanoke and have everyone be included in the process. One thing I've regretted during planning is that my Mom and I live so far from each other. We haven't been able to just go out for chai and coffee and just sit around and have all of the small talks that need to occur and help iron out details and figure stuff out. It's been great having my future brothers around to bounce ideas off of or to vent to. We've been able to go around town sampling cupcakes with my future mother-in-law and kick around ideas for the hospitality suite as well as cake. We've been able to make a few trips to Roanoke to have conversations and plan with my future father-in-law and future-step-mother-in-law. Still, I really wish that everyone was closer together. With any luck, Douglas will be hired by Modea (first week of the internship is going GREAT, btw) and we can work on getting everyone between southwestern VA and Charlotte before we start the journey toward babies. I am grateful, though, that we were able to have at least two family weekends in Roanoke to show folks around and give them a real idea of what was being planned.

Case in point - this past weekend. When Douglas and I had our different menus from our various food vendors, we knew that once we made a decision, we'd want to do a tasting, and, if possible, do a family dinner so everyone could sample the food and give us feedback. We had narrowed the food down to two vendors: Szechuan (Doug's favorite Chinese restaurant in town while growing up) and Blue Ridge Catering. Both menus would satisfy everyone's dietary needs and provide a decent amount of food for everyone. We decided to go with Szechuan, so that is what we had for dinner on Saturday night. Having spoken to them earlier in the week about them drawing up a more detailed contract, they knew that we would be ordering our wedding menu as take out for the family to enjoy. I point this out because the food was less than on par. One menu item was scratched almost immediately. The pineapple shrimp was apparently covered in a mayo-based sauce - not enjoyable. Past that, everyone was ok, but not great. While everyone knew we wanted feedback, they were still being careful not to say how blah the food was. It didn't take long to get the conversation going, though. I think we were all happy to be in agreement. The food was a disappointment. The next morning, Douglas was on the phone with Blue Ridge as we kept our fingers crossed that they still had the date open (they did!). While Szechuan is still on the table, Blue Ridge is in a very good position right now. After revisiting the last menu they sent us (which we loved), we realized that for them to provide drinks was going to cost as much as we were budgeting to get drinks from Sam's - DONE. They provided staffing - DONE. Douglas is setting up a meeting with them to discuss details in the next week or so. If everything works out right - we'll be signing with Blue Ridge! The best part about this turn around - the week before, Blue Ridge catered an event for one of future-step-mother-in-law's organizations with a menu that was similar in style to the one we were eyeing and people were raving about it! Future-father-in-law really dug the presentation of the food! Double-score! So fingers crossed - we'll, once again, have our food figured out soon!

We were also able to get two more sample cakes from our lovely baker, Lisa (who totally gave us four small cake bon-bons as a treat). So Mom and Dad were able to taste the wedding cake! We were also able to sample the third flavor combo we were considering. The only arguments going on about the cake was which flavor to make the biggest tier. Oh the check marks and stamps of approval were being marked in my head!

The downside to having two family get-togethers for wedding stuff is that months and months worth of conversations occur during only a few hours. We discussed everything from centerpieces to flowers to chuppahs to gifts for the wedding party to shuttles to what the parents would wear to why the groomsmen weren't wearing jackets. They were mostly good productive conservations, but boy is it a lot to deal with in such a short time! We equated it to being worn down by a sander - quickly. By the end of the night I was questioning why were were throwing an event that cost so much money! But by the next morning, the giddiness was back and things had been worked out. I'll tell you what, though, last weekend I hit that moment where I understood why everyone says "It was worth it, but I'd never put myself through that again."

So here we sit, on the other end of the weekend and less than five months away from the big day. About 50% of our guests have already given us a yes or a no whether through online or physical RSVP or hotel reservation. We are on task with our budget. Most of the big vending decisions have been made and secured. And, the Rapture has been rescheduled for Friday night, so the Scavenger Hunt should be more interesting. ;-)