My Own Bridal Army

I was just reading a wedding site post about bridesmaids dresses and loved this line: "...I loved that they looked like individual people and not just my bridal army..."

That is exactly what I had decided to do for my ladies.  I have never been a fan of matchy stuff, so having the girls up there in the same dress that may be out of their price range, that they may never wear again, and that they may look terrible in, simply wasn't something I was remotely interested in doing.  I looked through websites and photos of brides who had their bridal party all in the same colors but different dress styles, had their bridal party in different colors but the same style, and free-for-alls.  Personally, the same dress/different colors option was my least favorite after the matchy dress option.

The women I asked to be in my bridal party are very near and dear to me.  I love them for who they are, so why should I ask them to only show their personality and style through their hairstyle?  These women will be front and center and should be seen for who they are and how they want to be seen.  I know they would all drop everything and wear long sleeved striped pjs with Mickey Mouse ears if I asked them to.  (Let's face it, if I was to have a bridal army, one comprised of Columbias wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.)

The Pros and Cons of Save the Dates

Oh, Save the Dates (STDs). 

First off, a little trivia.  Did you know that Save the Dates are relatively new?  They only really got started in the '90s. 

Why have we decided to put the money and effort into Save the Dates, one extra thing that we could have easily done without?  Simply, we thought they'd be fun and it gives us a little more breathing room on how soon we feel we should get out formal invitation.  I am being optimistic on the fact that people will book their hotel rooms sooner rather than later and save themselves (and us)  a few headaches.  Also, a lot of other folks have gotten engaged recently or may be getting engaged over the holidays.  The STDs allow us to essentially secure that weekend for our wedding before our guests make other plans.  Another good thing about doing the STDs is that it's been forcing us to seriously analyze our guest list and deal with issues of number of people, cost, and getting addresses sooner rather than later.  This is only a pro because it means we get some of that crap out of the way.

These benefits don't really seem to outweigh all of the trouble that the STDs bring with them, however.  It forces you to confront your guest list, which you may have been satisfied with up until you sat down and realized how many people you actually had on the list and who had to, unfortunately, be left off of it.  It also means you have to start collecting addresses for all of those on your guest list.  (As we've learned recently, a great way to find out someone is moving is to ask for their address.  I think at least five people we know are moving in the next few weeks/months!)  I have learned to hate my guest list and anything that needs to be discussed in which the guest list plays any role what-so-ever.

The STDs have also forced me to start considering what is appropriate to send to other people, especially to older family members.  Douglas and I are very adamant about making this whole thing as much us as it can be.  However, we've gotten into a few heated discussions about whether there should be a line and where it should be.  In this case, it involved the use of the word "fuck" and how often it was being used (this will make more sense in context once we unveil our STDs - don't worry, we didn't write the f-word all over everything). 

Another con to the STDs is one that I've recently come across thanks to the wedding blogs.  A lot of people have no idea what an STD is and don't know how to respond to them.  The good thing that comes out of this is that you could end up with some early RSVPs!  I know I'm keeping my fingers crossed because the sooner I know numbers, the happier I'll be.  The bad thing is that you and/or your folks could end up getting frustrated/confused phone calls about it.  One of the Bees on WeddingBee.com recently wrote a post about this.

The last con I have to mention about STDs is simply cost and effort.  I wanted something that people would use which meant it was going to take more effort than picking out a design and giving someone the text to fill in and shipping out postcards.  The extra effort is fine by me - until we realized how much of a pain it was to figure out some of the logistics for packaging.  Oy.  Nothing's cheap.

In the end, we are going to be happy that we sent out what we did for our STDs and the fact that we'll be using the STDs to unveil the wedding website.  (Of course that means I still have to finish the wedding website) 

1 Year Out - Post 4: The Other Dresses

I'm still doing little dances about my dress (a very good sign).  Since I can't show you the dress, I figured that I would share the other dresses that we tried all leading up to THE dress. Join me on my dress adventure.  Everyone wave "hi" to my Mom in the first pic!

(Hi, Mom!)  This one wasn't too bad

Straight cuts are not flattering

Hoochie-mama dress! (front)

Hoochie-mama dress! (back)  Check out that booty!

All of these were size 14 dresses so they were very heavy with all of that extra fabric

Hair up or hair down? Moot point.

Getting clipped into a dress 8 sizes too big

Satin kept making me think of Fay Wray

Or like a victim in a horror flick

One of the few halter dresses we found

No side boob is a very good thing

Ruching is in-style and very flattering

Luckily, these dresses were only 2-4 sizes too big

Dark chocolate

For once, I said "no" to chocolate

The runner up. I still don't regret not getting it.

There was one other god-aweful dress, but it's, surprisingly, too close to THE dress to show you.  Believe it or not, the top/bust made all the difference in the world!  I still look at that photo and the photos of THE dress and get floored by how much I HATED that dress and how much I LOVED THE dress since they are almost the same dress!

Registery Help

Douglas and I are putting together an Alternative Gift Registry because it lets us compile a whole bunch of different items from different locations into one easy to access site.  I can't speak to how useful it actually is as we don't have it active yet.  However, it is very easy to set up and put together.

I always thought that putting a registry together would be easy.  Who wouldn't be able to find a few 100 gifts to request from folks?  Uh...that would be us. 

We could easily go hog wild and add a whole bunch of stuff we really don't need, like a larger tv, but we'd like to be sensible before we add "just for shits" items.

We're also in that limbo where we're living in a place with a roommate, so while there is plenty of stuff we could add to fill up a house, we really don't have the room for that kind of stuff yet and doubt we'll have that kind of room come wedding time.

While sitting and staring at the same web pages for a while and getting no inspiration, I realized that I have a plethora of folks I could hit up for suggestions and lessons learned.

So, dear readers, have you done a registry for any occasion?  Do you have any words of wisdom to share?  Things you wish you had put on your registry?  Things you wish you hadn't?  Pleasant surprises?  Nightmares?

1 Year Out - Post 3: STDs!

Well, it's that time folks.  It's time for Doug and I to start actually producing our Save the Dates.  I ordered the materials on Tuesday and they showed up yesterday!  Of course, it was the one night we weren't home to sign for the packages, so we got them today. 

Over the weekend, we'll finalize our layout and start working on producing the STDs.  Then it's all about the mailers and addresses.

It's getting real now.  We're actually going to be telling you folks where to be and when...and go live with the wedding website!  Ah!  (note to self: finish wedding website)

1 Year Out - Post 2: Down to 2 Pages

My poor wall calendar is looking a little too thin lately.  Two sheets left - November and December.  Where did 2010 go?  This time last year I was lauding 2010 as The Year.  2010 was The Year where things were going to happen!  Some did...and we're running out of time for those that didn't to join the ranks of "did".

It's November.  We are officially out of the period of time where we have to specify "next October" when asked when we're getting married.  Since we've been doing that for a little less than 9 months, it's very odd to realize that we are now less than a year out!  AHHHHHHHH!

The good thing is that we've been able to get a lot of big things checked off of our To Do Before I Do list.

• - We've taken care of all but two things with the rabbi.  All we have left to do is take our Intro to Judaism class (so that I can be educated and so he can get a refresher course) and meet with the rabbi after the results of our compatibility test come in, which will be around February or so.  For those wondering, I am not converting.  Taking the class is simply to be more knowledgeable of Doug's religion, be educated should I ever chose to convert, and gain insight for when we need to decide how to raise our children.  I learned a lot from reading The New Jewish Wedding (revised) about different Jewish traditions and some of the meanings behind those traditions.  So I'm looking forward to learning more from the class.

• - We're penciled in for our current reception location of choice and are in talks about menus.  We've booked the temple as our ceremony site although we're considering it our just-in-case option.  Now that we have locations nailed down, I feel more comfortable with having to wait until Spring to get information on the Market Building downtown.  If it ends up being affordable, then we may end up deciding to do both the ceremony and reception there.  We have to wait and see, though.  Either way, we have locations for the events.

• - I found and ordered my dress (!!!!!!!!) and am still very thrilled about it. 

• - We've started discussing attire for the wedding party.

• - We've finalized our guest list, started gathering snail mail addresses, and are actively working on getting the Save the Dates together.

• - Hotel rooms have been blocked at two hotels and we are still working out contract details with a third.

• - A few odds and ends still need adjusting on the wedding website, but I'm getting that together so it can launch before we send out the STDs.

• - The Father/Daughter dance song has been chosen.

• - We've been discussing ways to narrow down our "relationship soundtrack" to decide on a First Dance tune.

• - I've decided on the type of photography I want. 

• - On one of the next visits to Roanoke, the ladies and I will hit up every bakery we can think of to do some cake tastings (we're totally abusing this part of wedding planning).  Once we narrow down the places to about two or three bakeries/bakers, then Douglas will join in the tasting process.

For being just under a year out, we're looking pretty good so far!  The best part is that we're doing very well with sticking to or being under budget.  There is simply no way we can go over, so the more $ we can save during all of this, the better.  I've been impressed with us so far.  Yay us!

I was going to end this post with a picture of how gorgeous the leaves looked in southern Virginia two weekends ago, but apparently in all the craziness, I forgot to take a photo.  So instead, I will share with you that we were in town again last weekend to attend Rally at the Alley at Fork in the Alley to watch the Rally to Restore Sanity with Umpha.  There was a good crowd turn out at the Alley and we all enjoyed watching the Rally together.  It was a grand ole time!

Umpha and Douglas

Captivated by the Rally

Having a Good Time

If Only

Local Rally Signs